The Family Outpost, Episode 4 | Pillar 2: The Priesthood of the Family (feat. Yuri Jean-Baptiste)

Every dad asks it eventually: do I have what it takes? In Episode 4, Rance and Kevin open Pillar 2 of the Kingdom Outpost framework, the Priesthood of the Family, with a report back from their first Outpost Challenge, writing down the vision God has for each of their children.

Their guest, Yuri Jean-Baptiste, an athletic trainer, author, and father of two outside Raleigh, North Carolina, shares an honest story of growing up in a strict, rules-based home after his mother's early death, coming to real faith with his wife Jennifer right before marriage, and learning to lead his home rather than just privately believe.

From a gut-punch comment from his wife to a turning-point experience on an Xtreme Character Challenge, Yuri walks through what spiritual leadership looks like in practice: daily devotionals, praying with toddlers, casting vision instead of demanding compliance, and leaning on faith over credentials. The episode closes with a practical Outpost Challenge built around putting God's Word somewhere your family cannot help but see it.

Episode Chapters

00:00 Intro and Theme Music

00:25 Do I Have What It Takes?

00:58 Pillar 2: The Priesthood of the Family

01:37 Outpost Challenge Field Report

13:08 Meet Yuri Jean-Baptiste

14:11 Yuri's Story

20:08 Private Belief and Spiritual Leadership

23:11 Leading at Home in Daily Life

27:38 Casting Vision at Home

36:26 No Seminary Degree Required

39:16 Simple Enough for Home

41:16 Knowledge and Relationship

43:12 Entering Fatherhood

44:10 Outpost Challenge

46:04 Reading the Bible With Your Family

47:12 Closing and Next Episode Preview

Outpost Challenge

Find a Bible verse and put it somewhere your whole family will pass by, such as the fridge, the front door, or the stairway. Let it spark conversation organically. If you want to go deeper, bring that same verse to the dinner table and ask how it resonates with everyone's life today.

It is literally Deuteronomy 6: writing God's Word on the doorposts of your home. Rance and Kevin are taking the challenge themselves and want to hear how it goes for your family too.

Email us at familyoutpost@all4one.org to share how the challenge goes for your family. We read every response.

Downloadable Resource

Reading the Bible With Your Family, A Simple Starting Guide: https://irp.cdn-website.com/3068abde/files/uploaded/How+to+Read+the+Bible+with+Your+Family.pdf

Links

The Family Outpost Podcast: https://www.all4one.org/the-family-outpost-podcast

All4One: https://www.all4one.org/

4MUS: https://www.4mus.org/

SportQuest: https://www.sportquest.org/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheFamilyOutpost

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/all4one_ministries/

Episode Transcript

Transcript lightly edited for clarity.

Kevin: My conviction is this is too important to quit. It's showing them Christ's love in their life day by day. Do they feel loved by you? Do they experience the Father's love when they're with you?

Yuri: Am I ready for this? Do I have, you know, the credentials in order to lead my family? We need to get out of our own ways and allow him to do the work.

Rance: Every dad I know carries some version of this question. Do I have what it takes? Especially when it comes to leading our family. Am I qualified? Am I falling short? And for most of us, Kevin and I included, the honest answer sometimes sounds like, I don't know. I probably should be doing more. Maybe I'm not sure where to start. If that's where you are, you're in the right place today. Welcome to The Family Outpost, a show for families who want to be intentional about building with God's design. I'm Rance.

Kevin: And I'm Kevin. And today, we're talking about pillar two, the priesthood of the family. This is the idea that you don't need a seminary degree to lead your family spiritually. You just need a willingness, a willing heart, to be an open vessel. And our guest today, who, we're going to dive into his story, going to give us a real glimpse into his experience with this pillar. And so, if you're a dad, awesome. And if you're a wife, a woman here that's tuned in and you're already thinking, is this even for me? Should I tune out? Do I go listen to something else? I encourage you, hang out for a little while. You may find that you learn a little bit more than you thought.

Rance: That's right. Well, first, before we get into the meat of today's episode, we owe our listeners a report from last week's Outpost challenge. This was our first challenge given by our guest, Hannes and Alma. Are you ready for this, Kevin?

Kevin: Yeah. Let's do

Rance: it. Alright. So here's what Hannes and Alma gave us in the last episode. Their challenge was this, write down God's vision and purpose for each one of your children. And Alma used the framing of Psalm one twenty seven that our children are like arrows, but we can only shoot an arrow when we know where it needs to go. We've got to have a target. So that image has stuck with me. Kevin, why don't you share what what you've written, what you've created for your vision for your kids?

Kevin: Yeah. So this is one that God already had done a work. And in the first episode, we talked about these these big moments in our lives, that kind of pointed us on this path of God's design. And I shared about the time in my neighborhood in front of our Pond Lake, whatever you want to call it, and and what God spoke to me there and what I was asking for and what he gave me. And one of the things that he gave me was very clear vision for my kids. And at the time, I had three. And, I didn't ask him for this, but he gave me a word over each of them, which, gosh, my daughter was a newborn at the time, I believe. And so it wasn't like I had this clarity about their character or anything that I was like, oh, well, this fits for them. Like, didn't even know one of them at all. And he put this word, and the crazy thing is I've watched over the last, gosh, six, seven years, no, five years that that's happened, how that has come up over and over. And at different times, I've had clarity and have actually seen into the future. And if I'm being real, sometimes it's been scary because we don't need to dive into this, but sometimes it requires great sacrifice on their, behalf and putting them in positions that are difficult and because of what I've seen within that vision. And so I was already there partially, but, I did commit to this challenge. I went out and got the tattoos of the arrows for the three that I've already had these words for. But I do need to get a couple more tattoos, apparently, and, pray over my my two youngers because I don't have that for them. I believe I have some guidance on Cobe, our two-year-old, but I haven't pray I haven't haven't gotten there yet for Canyon. And so this is a challenge that I don't want to rush, and I want it to come, when God brings it to fruition. So I'm just encouraged to continue on that path.

Rance: I think that brings up an important point that for some people, this is really hard, and and they may even be hesitant to do this because it sort of feels like we're just sort of predicting the future. We're trying to write out what we think is going to happen in our kids' lives. And, you know, if you happen to have a sort of controlling dominant personality, it can be really hard to, like, let go of the outcomes. It's like, no. I that was my vision. I thought that was going to happen. So the question is, is it our vision or is it God's vision? And, obviously, that that takes time. Like, that takes revelation, and the Lord has to speak to us. But I also think that, you know, the other option is that we just don't do this at all. We don't seek the Lord for vision. We sort of, just wake up in ten years and find out what's going to happen. And and there is a sense in which, yes, we all are going to do that because we have to trust the Lord. But I think vision is more about trajectory. It's it is about where we're shooting that arrow, and there are decisions and choices that we're making today that we can be really intentional about. So I think this is a really great exercise. Full disclosure, kinda like you, I had already done some work on this with my kids. I only have two as opposed to having to do this five times, so I have a little leg up there. But as I was praying about this this week, the Lord reminded me of something too, kind of similar to what you said. When my kids were born, just prior to them being born, the Lord gave us a scripture for both of them. And we've actually taken the these scripture passages, put them on a canvas on a wall that's hanging in their room. So I went into their room this week and started reading through these scriptures and just asking the Lord, what what does that scripture say about the vision that you have, for their lives? And so started with Cortlynn, my daughter. Her verse is Psalm 84. And if you're familiar with that one, it says, better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere. So what I wrote was, I envision Cortlynn as a woman who serves the Lord, who dwells in his presence, and who blesses her environment. In the in that passage, it says, they pass through the Valley Of Baca, and they make it a place of spring. So I picture her everywhere she goes just leaving a blessing behind. I also I always envision this for her that she's going to be an amazing wife and mother who builds our family from generation to generation. It's part of the blessing that I say over her, every Shabbat. That's sort of the big picture. And then part of my exercise with this was to even make this a little more concrete and think about where are my kids going to be in ten years and what who do I hope they are becoming? And I I've found this to be really illuminating to ask the Lord this and to write this out. So I won't read through everything, every detail, but I put in there things like, ten years from now, Cortlynn will be 17. She's going to be a teenager, but I see her as a secure, confident young woman prepared for a lifetime of kingdom impact. There's certain skills, you know, that I want her to have. There are she's very creative, so there's all kinds of things that are associated with that. I want her to be emotionally and relationally intelligent and to be grounded in her faith and identity, and in in the vision that I see for her that I believe the Lord's given me even to the point of others in our church and our community going, you know, man, that Cortlynn, like, we need to seek her out to be around our daughters. You know, we want her to be a good influence to them. So that gives me a target. That gives me something to aim at. And you know what? The outcomes are in God's hands. For my son, just quickly, his verse is Proverbs two one through 11. It's a wisdom passage. And so I see him I envision for him that he'll be a man of wisdom and integrity, trustworthy and responsible, and an amazing husband and father who builds our family from generation to generation. And then I did the same little practical thing with him. So ten years from now, he'll be 20, and I envision him becoming a young man of faith, competence, vision. Again, there are certain skills and and experiences that I I have in my mind for him that even as he's a teenager that will start building. I see him having some spiritual maturity, being able to lead others, mentoring younger guys, and then also just practically, like, knowing how to work with his hands, having some of those skills. And then, you know, at age 20, I don't know where he's going to be in life with, you know, finding that special someone and maybe starting his own family, but he's going to know that team Bland is fully behind behind him as he prepares to start that. So those are just some of the things that I've written down and and reflected on.

Kevin: Sounds like you haven't done much thinking about this at all. So

Rance: I love this stuff. You know, obviously, it's it's right up our alley with the Kingdom Outpost. But, you know, writing this down is I'll just say this, reminds me of the power of words and and and intention. It's, kinda like speaking blessing. Vision is very much like that. I mean, God spoke the world into existence, and our words have the power to shape identity and destiny. So I think if you approach it that way, it's very different from trying to control the outcomes and sort of predict the future. That that's not what we're talking about here. But we we can shape things with our words, and I'd much rather aim toward that vision than, you know, just sort of coasting for the next ten years and hoping it

Kevin: all works out. So Sounds like we need to do a whole episode on just the power of our words.

Rance: Man, that's a great idea. We should do that. Alright.

Kevin: Alright. We got to get into today's episode.

Rance: That's right.

Kevin: But I'm still hopeful that we get to hear from somebody else that gets to tell a little story of how they, spent the time diving in, hearing from the Lord, and putting a vision together for their family. So if you if you've thought about that, if you've done that, if you sought the Lord, please let us know. We want to be encouraged through that as well.

Rance: Link's in the show notes, so we'd love to hear from you. Before we bring our guest in, just one more thing. I think it's important for us just to start with this. I've been leading my family spiritually for ten years. I've been in ministry. I've been a youth pastor. You know, you could say there's there's a pretty significant, like, spiritual background. And even with that, I just want to say that I still have many moments where I'm like, am I doing this right? You know, I still feel ill equipped at times that lots of times I don't know what to say. No handbook was ever given to me that it's like, do these four things, you know, and and you'll always get it right. And so there is a lot of sort of learning as we go and doubts and questions, but my conviction is this is too important to quit. And so even the moments that feel awkward or I don't know. It may be it's landing flat. I don't know if I'm seeing the right things. I just know that I got to keep going and that the Lord is growing me in this process and that it's more about faithfulness than getting it right all the time. So can you relate to that, Kevin? What you know, do you have some of those feelings as well?

Kevin: I always like to joke, but this is one of those things that it does hit home because it's it's our calling. It's one of our biggest callings, and we talk about being parents a lot, but, this is goes beyond just parents. This goes to your home. And for a lot of people that don't have kids, like, this is your wives. And I can't tell you how many times I've heard this statistic, like, those who pray with their wives every day have a zero percent divorce rate. And every time I hear that, I'm like, why don't I do that more? And every statistic or encouragement that I have, it's just another opportunity for, like, why don't I make that more important? Why do I fall short here? And it's easy to feel condemned, but because I know what Jesus did, it is just a gentle nudge back on track. And so we get a nice gentle nudge from our guests today.

Rance: That's right. That's right. So it's a good reminder. It's never too late to start. We all have those those feelings and questions, but excited to hear from our guests because I think there's going to be a lot of encouragement in this area today. So let's bring them in.

Kevin: Alright. Today, we have Yuri Jean-Baptiste joining us. Yuri is an athletic trainer. He is a author, and he's an entrepreneur. Him and his wife, Jennifer, live outside of Raleigh, North Carolina with their two beautiful girls, and he's someone who's taken it seriously to be a spiritual leader of their home, not from a position of having all the answers and memorizing the bible, but from a position of just showing up, being present over and over. So, Yuri, thanks for joining us. Glad you're here.

Yuri: Happy to be here. Thank you.

Rance: Yeah. Excited for this conversation, Yuri. Let's just start with could you share a little of your story? How'd you come to faith? When did this, topic of leading your family spiritually really become real to you? And if I could just tack on one more thing that'll probably be part of your story. Did you ever see this model? Like, did your dad set an example in this area or not? Did you have to learn it on your own? So just give us a little bit of your your background.

Yuri: I would say that we grew up in a fairly religious household. We essentially went to church every Sunday or so. However, when my mother passed away, things changed. My dad went into a bit of a depression and we struggled to get to church. And when we did start going back, there wasn't really that relationship aspect. Right?

Kevin: Mm-hmm.

Yuri: We grew up in a with a religion where I would say there was a lot of rules. There was a distant God that was presented to us. And so to be honest with you, I grew up with the idea of this old guy up in the sky that was essentially keeping score and I was just trying to stay out of the red. So that was my relationship with God, you know, throughout middle school, high school, and even the college. So I considered myself religious in a sense that I identified with a denomination, but I never really took it seriously. I never really engaged with this God that they they had taught me and now I like to think of it as a almost borrowed religion. You know, it wasn't a religion that I had accepted as my own, it was something that was drilled into me and so I just kind of followed whatever rules that they gave me. Now, after I met my now wife, Jennifer, we had talked a bit about attending church and every now and then we would we would go. But it wasn't until one of our bowl games actually when I had invited her to come with us around the Christmas time And while we were there, it was one of those things, hey, we're we're Christian, right? We should go to a church for for Christmas. And so we attended a service, it was a nondenominational church and I couldn't tell you what it was about the sermon, but that sermon saved my life absolutely. Wow. And the next thing I know, Jen's crying, I'm crying and we're looking at each other and we're saying, okay, there's some changes we might want to start making in our And so after that, yeah, we really started dedicating ourselves to to Christ as actual followers and believers. And so ever since then, it's just been an incredible journey that we've both taken together.

Rance: Was that moment prior to children?

Yuri: Yes. Okay. Yes. That was before we we had gotten married. We were engaged at the time. So this was really an an eye opener toward what the vision of our eventual family was going to be. Now as far as, you know, you had brought up, was this something that was modeled to us? Again, my my dad was a believer in God, but he did have struggles after my mother's passing and, you know, raising three kids on his own initially was a difficult thing for him. And so there was a part of him, I believe, that really did struggle to model out maybe something he wasn't necessarily feeling to be true. Mm-hmm. And it wasn't until he met my bonus mother, Jocelyn, that she really helped ignite that fire in him again. And ever since then, again, his life has changed and the trajectory of our family changed after that.

Kevin: How old were you when your mom passed? I was five. Okay. And then how old were you when you and Jennifer were at this church service and your heart was awakened to what God wanted to do with you?

Yuri: I believe I was 25 at the time. When when

Kevin: did Jocelyn when did your bonus mom come into the picture?

Yuri: Jocelyn came into the picture when I was in sixth grade.

Kevin: Okay. So you went from young age to sixth grade with dad battling depression and following that fatherhood, and then things changed for middle school and okay. And then good. Thank you.

Yuri: Yeah. We we didn't have the ideal setting in terms of growing up. You know, parents loved us obviously, but it was one of those things where we were in a very strict household, very rules based, and a lot of that wound up getting applied to the way I view God. But, yeah, that's that was how I was saved and how I started to follow Christ. Now, again, this is something that I was starting to figure out on my own, so it definitely was not perfect. And when it came to leading the household, even at the time I was saved, I didn't really start thinking about what that meant.

Kevin: So when was that moment, whether was it before you had kids? Was it somewhere after you got married where you took the bull by the horns in terms of leadership within the home? Was it natural within your dynamics of your home for you to take the lead on things? Or when did that that change?

Yuri: It wasn't exactly natural. I don't have the kind of personality where I like to impose my will on things or try to force things upon people. I was of the belief that my faith is my faith, my spirituality is my spirituality and everybody should have the opportunity to figure it out for themselves. And so I was passive in that sense that, yes, there were things that I was looking to do to grow in my journey, but I wasn't necessarily looking to help others on theirs. I was trying to figure out stuff on my own, wasn't really thinking about how I could help Jen get to that level or anything like that. You know, if she got there, she got there, but at least she knows Jesus kind of deal. And I think a lot of men have that mentality as well where we're okay taking this journey for ourselves, but we're uncomfortable or even a little bit scared trying to guide others along that way.

Rance: Yeah. I would say, you know, most men, myself included, often don't feel qualified, especially when it comes to the spiritual stuff. And especially if that hadn't been modeled for you and you're kind of figuring out as you go, did you experience some of those feelings, especially when kids came along and now you've got your wife and, you know, some little little children looking up at you going, you know, dad, are you going to show me the way? And you're like, I'm I'm figuring out still for myself.

Yuri: Yes. So I would say a light bulb clicked for me in two instances. So one, after, you know, I had this this awakening, this this spiritual revival you could say, I had joined we started going to a church around the area and I joined a men's group and that men's group started to to really click and eventually we wound up creating another group that was a little bit more in-depth and it was built off of the Xtreme Character Challenge which the four m organization runs. And so this extreme character challenge was a really big part of the group which was called unparalleled. Within that group, they really spoke about accountability and how we could become better men not just for ourselves, but for our family. And I remember the first couple weeks of being in this group, this men's group, one of the questions we had to ask our wives was, okay, do you notice anything different about the way that I'm leaving the house, the way that I am, you know, things like that. And I asked my wife and she was like, yeah, you seem to know the Bible a little bit more. And it was like a gut punch to me because I was expecting some, oh, yeah, like you've been so such a godly husband and you've really changed your attitude and all this stuff. And that really started me thinking, okay, so I get this knowledge, but what am I actually doing with it? You know, if it's just thing inside of my head and I'm not actually trying to do anything with it, if I'm not leading with it, then it's essentially not going to do much. And so that really started me thinking outside of myself and how could I demonstrate what it is that Christ is doing in my life to others, especially my family. And then once I actually went on the XCC, the extreme character challenge hike, that completely changed my heart in terms of, okay, I really need to step up and become a servant leader for my family. At the time, I had just had my first daughter. She was a couple weeks old when I went on the hike. And so when I came back, I was all in and ready to to show them what it looks like to be a godly husband and father.

Rance: We've been talking at a pretty conceptual level about spiritual leadership, but could you give us some examples? What does it actually look like on a day to day basis? You know, whether it's between you and your wife or you with your children, are there some examples you could share?

Yuri: So when I first started trying to to take the reins of this, it was fairly small stuff that was simple, that didn't require a lot of planning or heavy interpretation on my part. So he would do daily devotionals, for example. So the Bible app has fantastic daily devotionals that you could do. You can sample them ahead of time so you could see how in-depth they are. And so I would just start doing them with my wife. We would do them together, we would respond together and we would really interact on those things. And so that started us getting more into those spiritual discussions. We would also seek books that we could read together as a couple that would really help improve how our marriage was functioning. Things like the five love languages for instance was a great book for us to read together, so that we can understand where each of us was coming from and how to better communicate with one another. And so those were small things that we were doing to start getting the wheels moving. Now when it came to our children, it's a little bit more difficult, right, because they're they're toddlers, there's only so much that they're they're able to grasp.

Rance: Yeah. Give us their ages at this moment.

Yuri: Yeah. So right now at the moment, my oldest Mariela is four and my youngest Nevea is three. Again, I'm going back to childhood the way I was taught. You know, Haitian households were pretty strict about prayer. So it was one of those things that it's like, alright, let's get together. Let's get down on our knees, put your hands together. We're going to pray and all this stuff. And she's, like, eight months old. Like, she doesn't care. So she's wandering all over the place. I'm getting frustrated. I'm like, no. This isn't how it's supposed to look. Like, you're supposed to be obedient. Sit down. Pray to God. Show some respect. But as I've gotten a little bit wiser, I've come to realize there's there's beauty and there's joy in the way that these kids interact with God

Rance: Yes.

Yuri: That I wish I had. Yeah. There's a I don't want to say casualness, but there's a carefree way in which they approach God that I think we need to as well Yeah. While still holding reverence. Right?

Kevin: Right.

Yuri: When we sit down and pray, you know, I don't expect them to be on their knees kneeling, you know, they kind of stand up and wander around, but I always tell them, you know, put your hands together, let Lord know that you're you're focused on him. And it's beautiful to see how they've grasped the things that we've said. Every night we try and do worship song and then we will do a Bible reading, you know, from the kids Bible and we let them pick the worship song, we let them pick the bible reading and they love it. They sit there, they're attentive and even when we're not having those nightly rituals, they bring it up randomly. You know, they'll bring up random bible stories or songs and it's those things that you don't think they're paying attention to or really grasping Yeah. That's actually sinking in because of you're you're normalizing it. You're making it a daily routine. Yeah.

Kevin: So how about with Jennifer? Because you guys had a relationship well before you were really following the Lord and then, you know, relationship well before having kids. And there's a shift in the way you operate as as leader within your home from a spiritual standpoint. Was there any butting heads? Were is there any roadblocks? Or was it smooth sailing? She's just like, oh, perfect. You want to lead? Okay. Let me step back.

Yuri: So my wife, Jennifer, is from New Jersey.

Kevin: So no

Rance: more. We

Kevin: can move on Very to

Yuri: yeah. She has a very strong personality. Leadership is something that she's actually good at, like she's she's a has a dominant personality. She's very much an outspoken extrovert, strong willed woman and all those are amazing blessing. I will say we especially at the beginning of our marriage, we definitely would butt heads from time to time. However, when it came to spiritual leadership, she has been fantastic. There are times where she may not always understand the reasoning why I choose or I desire to do certain things, but as we go along and we do them, she appreciates it and she appreciates the fact that I'm taking that leadership. You know, this isn't something where I suggest it and she's like, no, that's silly. You know, I don't feel comfortable doing that. It's one of those things where she'll she'll hear what I'm saying and it's important again that you convey the heart behind it that, you know, I'm not just doing things just to do them or for the purpose of rituals or things like that. It's there's a significance behind it. There's a spiritual reward that we can get if we approach things this way. And she'll look at me and she'll say, okay, I'm on board. Let's try this out. And then usually 99% of the time, it's, you know, this was a good idea and I appreciate the fact that you you brought this to the family.

Kevin: We got to sit there for just a minute because that's that's big and we'll start with first, what you said in terms of what you did, and that was, it was casting a vision. I would always cast a vision for why, I believe. I would explain. I would walk through, either through prayer and how the decision was made, but give it a background, give it a vision. And then for any women that have hung out for the episode, you have no idea what you do for a man when you're willing to be led. Because it is so hard to get to a point where you say, alright, I want to take this step of leadership, and you know you don't have it all together, and you know you're fumbling, but you just want to be obedient and take a step. And you go to take a step, and somebody sticks their foot out and says, you weren't going the right way anyway, so I knocked you down so I could lead the way. And so I say that tongue in cheek a little bit, but it's so common. And don't want to take, put the blame on women. The reality is men have stepped back from leadership, and women have been forced to step up into leadership. So it had to happen just to keep things going forward for for so long. But that's happened for so long that it's hard for women to step back and say, I'm going to let my husband lead, even imperfectly. And so if you're listening and you hear anything that you're saying, men cast a vision, women be willing to be led even if it's imperfectly and be willing to have the conversation around it. So Yeah. Yuri, that was great.

Rance: Yuri, I got to jump in because I'm right there with you, man. My my wife, very strong personality. And I'm like you. I don't like to be dominant, you know, rock the boat. And I had to learn that, typically, when I was going to suggest something or or say, hey. I feel like the Lord's leading us this direction, and I'm going to put it out there. I had to be prepared that to to allow her to have a reaction. And often, it might be negative. It might be you know, I don't see it that way. I I see it differently. And earlier in our marriage, if she would do that, I'd I'd just back down. Like, oh, I guess we're not supposed to you know, because I just didn't want to have conflict. What I realized later was she needs to feel her emotions in that moment, but then she's going to take it back and talk to the Lord. And we've had so many times now where she'll come back in 180 and be like, you know what? I feel I feel peace about it. I think I think you're right. Let's let's try this. Or or she might even say, I don't exactly see what you see, but I'm I'm willing to trust the Lord in this and and follow. And just like you said, Kevin, it is that's the best thing in the world. It's like, god, you you got my back in this? And, he has a way of bringing us together and getting us on the same page, but we have to be willing to sometimes have some conflict and disagreement and see things differently and not be passive as men about those moments. We have to step into those moments and and then trust that, you know, the Lord will bring unity, eventually in the decision.

Kevin: I'm going to take us down a path that may not seem like it makes sense, but I can see why it applies. And they say more is caught than taught. And so we could talk about conceptually, and we could talk about specific details, and we could talk about the way we kinda systematically bring priesthood into the family. But one thing that's interesting for your story, Yuri, because I know you well, for those who don't know, Yuri is one of my closest friends. And so Yuri went on his first XCC extreme character challenge, and they came back to serve. And the funny thing is I knew Yuri's story really well going into this XCC, and it was my responsibility on this XCC to give people different things to talk about. And the fun thing about it is you just get really prayerful about that thing, and then you assign based on prayer, not based on your knowledge. And so I go to Yuri. I'm like, hey, man. Like, I don't know why, but you're supposed to give this talk about this. And he just looks at me. He's like, there's, like, like, six other things that I could be talking about, but not that one thing. And the crazy thing is it was the most, to me, the most impactful talk of the weekend because of of how much deep dive he went into his own heart and what was happening in his life at that point in time. And so I can give you all the details. But, Yuri, do you know what I'm talking about, Evan?

Yuri: I absolutely know what you're talking

Kevin: Then unpack that for us a little bit.

Yuri: There was a message that we were delivering about radical logic. It was a message in which we talked about how Peter was told to cast his net to the other side of his boat after he had spent all night fishing. And so he's completely baffled with Jesus because he's a fisherman, of course, he knows what he's doing, but he trusts God. And so against his better judgment, he casts his net and he winds up with more fish than he can hold. And that was a message I struggled with initially, especially because I didn't understand one, why I'm being given that message. But two, I was like, I don't have anything in my life where I'm struggling like that. But the more I actually thought about it, you know, as Kevin mentioned, I'm an author and I'll be the first one to tell you being an author is not what you think it is when you were younger. It is a lot of hard work, and it's very little recognition and little to no money. And so I was struggling mightily with why am I writing all these books and for for what, for who, like what am I going to get out of this and God really put it on my heart that, hey, it's it's not about all of that. Do you trust what I'm doing in your life? Do you trust that even if one person is affected that it was worth all of it? And do you believe that against your better judgment events against your logic, that I'm going to make something incredible happen here. And so I had to lean into that and say, yeah, I'm I'm going to toss my logic out the window and I'm going to go with yours. And, you know, I think this can relate, Kevin, in terms of what we're talking about because a lot of men struggle with this aspect of leading their family because they overthink, to be honest with you. You know, they tend to overanalyze, you know, am I ready for this? Do I have a seminary degree? Do I have, you know, the credentials in order to lead my family? And at the end of the day, we need to stop doing things for Christ and we need to start doing things in Christ. He's asking us to have faith in him and his ability to speak in and through us and we need to get out of our own ways and allow him to do the work.

Kevin: Amen. And amen. And I think the beautiful thing in that is that you get to tell the story for your kids one day and we we I brought it up as this caught and taught, but you get to one day tell them, like, I wrote all these books. Dad, why? Well, I didn't make any money, but God said I need to keep casting my nets. So your dad kept casting. And it's going to look different for them, and they may not be writing. Who knows what it'll be? But they had this example of, I'm just going to cast my nets because that's what my dad did. And I think that's beautiful. And we we label we Rance prepared this episode, and he prepared it with this title that you don't need a seminary degree to lead your home. And I asked him when he put that out there, I'm like, why did you why did you name it that? Did you have that conversation with Yuri? He's like, no. I'm like, that's funny because Yuri's been a writer for a long time. And he got to this point where he decided that he wanted to write devotionals. But he got to this question, like, who am I? Right? So this guy that's now on the podcast talking about being a spiritual leader, asking the question, do I have what it takes? Do I need to be a pastor? Do I need a seminary degree in order to write a devotional? So can you answer that for us, Yuri?

Yuri: Resounding no. And I have asked many a pastor that as well. This was something I was definitely self conscious about and not so much that I didn't think, you know, I was capable of it, but it was one of those things like I don't want to mislead people, what if I say the wrong thing, what if, you know, I'm mixing things up and there was almost a huge consensus of them saying, no, like don't worry about that, you don't need a Bible degree, you don't need a seminary degree. And a lot of them were like, to be honest with you, I don't hold mine very highly. You know, it it's great in order to to help you understand history, a lot of the translations, all that. There's so much that you can learn through these, degrees and to be honest with you, the more knowledge you get, the richer the Bible is. But if you are waiting until you are quote unquote ready or you are qualified enough, you need no look no further than the disciples. You know, not one of them were scholars, not one of them were Pharisees or Sadducee. They were fishermen, they were tax collectors, they were all the kids that dropped out or flunked out of their their schooling. And at that point, Christ looked at them and that he said, no. You're you're perfect for this.

Rance: Yeah. You know, Yuri, spiritual leadership in the home looks different in different seasons, but you've got young children. And I feel like having young children and trying to step into spiritual leadership, it's a type of seminary in and of itself. Like, it's a type of training to have to take these really deep spiritual things and figure out how how do I make this so a three or four year old can understand this. And in that process, we learn and grow so much as as dads or as parents just trying to learn how to break it down for a child, which means we have to really understand it well ourselves. So there's a type of built in, you know, training there. Have how have you grown spiritually yourself as you've tried to lead your your children?

Yuri: I think it's a matter of, as you said, Rance, it's like you you have to learn how to simplify things. We over complicate so much of this stuff. And at the end of the day, Jesus taught us love God, love one another. And so if it can be that simple, if you can boil the Bible down into those two rules, I think we can find ways to help young children understand the heart of God. And in doing so, it helps us understand it too. Right? Like when I have to really break things down to the bare bones of what it is Christ was looking to teach us Mm-hmm. It's incredible how simple the Bible can become and how, yes, though there's a lot of depth in his teachings and there's so much, beauty and wisdom that can be found throughout the entire Bible. A lot of it comes down to just the simple basics that we really need to learn how to instill that in our hearts.

Kevin: Man, what I what I pulled out of what you just said is, is actually pretty profound because, there's a great line that says, preach gospel and when necessary, use words. And so you said, love God, love people. And so whether you've got really young kids and, you know, you've got to, make things simple, you've got adult children or you've got grandchildren, what I hear is it's relational. It starts with loving them. It's showing them Christ's love in their life day by day. Like, are you calling your kids? Are you checking in? Do they feel loved by you? Do they experience the Father's love when they're with you? Because if you never teach them a verse, if they never memorize a verse, but they experience the love of Christ when they're with you, then that's everything right there. And it doesn't matter what age they are, that that the language of love, if you want to say that that that experiencing that love is universal no matter what age.

Rance: And Yuri, just to circle back to, your your story and your childhood, it seems like that was exactly what was lacking with your dad. Like, there was there was biblical knowledge there, but there was a lack of relationship with you, which made your dad feel distant, but also God feel distant. So, how would you like unpack that principle for us as dads that we've got to have more than just the biblical knowledge actually?

Yuri: Like I said, it it went back to that conversation I had with my wife. Right? Like it's great you have all this knowledge, it's great that you know all these things. It doesn't change the fact that you're still walking around the same way. When we are seeking to help our kids develop that relationship with God, we have to understand that we're probably the closest thing that they're going to be able to understand to a heavenly father. So if that's the case, what am I demonstrating? What's the product I'm putting out? Because if I'm constantly angry, if I'm just seeking to just throw knowledge at them and have them memorize verses with no context or no heart, if I'm trying to be the disciplinarian, like I said, having my kids on their knees, praying all this stuff, but I have no grace, it doesn't connect to them. And quite frankly, it doesn't connect to me either even as an adult. That's good. If I don't know that you care, then why should I care? Yeah. When we're we're teaching these things for our kids, even like as we read Bible stories to them and things like that, it's nice to be able to close the book and then say, okay, well, what do you think about that? How does that relate to to what you're going through, you know, connecting with them on that level so that these stories don't feel so distant, They feel like this is something that they're experiencing on their level here and now.

Rance: That's so good. Yuri, can you leave us with one thing that you wish you would have known as you were entering into fatherhood about leading your family spiritually? Is there something that would have helping you help helped you get off to a better start?

Yuri: One, embrace imperfection because you're not going to be perfect and God's not looking for perfect and stop procrastinating because that is one of the biggest things I hear, you know, across men's groups, all that stuff is, yeah, I just got to wait until I want to pray a little bit more, get get into the field of things, I don't want to look weird, all this stuff and they just procrastinate, procrastinate to a point where finally they either lose interest or their connection to their kids just continues to separate. Yeah. So stop procrastinating.

Rance: That's good. It's never too late, but also don't wait.

Kevin: There you go. Alright, guys. We've unpacked a lot in this episode, but we've we've got to close it out. And so we close out every episode with an Outpost challenge where you, our guests, get to challenge Rance and I, which is actually challenging everybody that's listening. So, Yuri, I already know you've got one for us, so let us have it.

Yuri: Yeah. So this is one I like to do at work, but is very applicable to to doing within the family. There's kind of two levels to this. So the first level would be finding a Bible verse, you know, in the mornings, take a look through the Bible where you can use the Bible app for for a verse, but take that verse, write it down and put it somewhere where everyone in the family is going to pass by it, whether it is the refrigerator, the front door, the stairway, whatever it is, just a place where everybody's going to be able to pass by and see it. Yeah. This way it allows for conversations to happen organically, you know, people can pass by and say, wow, you know, that I really needed to to read that today. I mean, you can start going to deeper conversations that way. The second level to this is if you want to make it more intentional, you could do this around the dinner table, you can do this as a separate family time, but bring that verse up and ask people, you know, what do you feel about this verse? How does it resonate with your your life today and and what do you think? And again, these are ways that we can take these baby steps toward, having these active conversations with our families and really leading them into these spiritual conversations.

Rance: Excellent. You know, it's, like literally Deuteronomy six, you know, right the right on the doorpost of your home. You know, put God's Word and make it visible for your family. So I'm in. Let's do it, Kevin.

Kevin: Alright. I like it.

Rance: If you're listening out there, we encourage you to take that step as well. And, you know, this outpost challenge is how we put things into practice. And so we would encourage you to do that with us and let us know how it goes with your family. Right along with that, we've actually got a link in the show notes to a really simple resource for you just to help you read the Bible with your family. Maybe you've tried it before and you got a bunch of eye rolls and, you know or or you just felt like you didn't know how to do it, where to start. Download this resource, and it's going to just walk you through very simply how to get started with your family, and we encourage you to give that a try. So, Yuri, thanks again for being our guest here today at The Family Outpost. I really believe this in this conversation is going to encourage, a lot of parents out there who are wrestling with these same things.

Yuri: Well, thank you guys for having me.

Kevin: You gave us permission to be imperfect. But like you said, give them the Nike. Just do it. Just show up.

Yuri: Yes, sir.

Rance: That's right. Well, next week, we're on pillar three. So we're going to be talking about culture, how you build a home worth belonging to, and our guest is someone Kevin knows very well. That's that's all I'm going to say. So, you'll have to tune in to see who that is. Subscribe so you don't miss it. And if this, episode has encouraged you, share it with one dad or one mom. And, that's it. Alright. We'll see you guys next time on The Family Outpos